Have you ever realized the lonelyness or the isolation especially with everyone around in case of a social gathering like the marriages or the wedding receptions et. all and do you happen to sit in a hall filled with so called relatives whom you hardly recognize ? Then hang on you aren’t alone, I have always loved the pleasure of being annonymous 😉 ,But the feeling of being totally isolated despite being in a hall filled with hunderds of so-called relative(or people) is one worse thing one could experience.
Having grown up in a nuclear family, i didn’t feel the need for anyone other than my own family members. Since i was totally devoted to studies amd i hardly took time off to reach out to any of the relatives during the young age, and now in this juncture although i know most of them are closely related or even remotely related i hardly know how they are related to me. Sitting close to an aunt or uncle who speaks to you about each and every childhood moments but despite having all the nostalgic moments and all the persistent try of recognizing the aunt or uncle goes in vain. Although i know i’m a loner but i hate being lonely when it comes to such occasions and the fact of feeling of being isolated in a really big gathering makes me feel as if i’m in a enclose with all stranger. But is this situation because of the nuclear family or the society in which i grew up, but i knew somethings going wrong these days.
Though i have a liking for being left alone still sometimes i feel i should have someone close to me taking care of me, talking me through the boredom and even making me lighter in case of desperation. Although i stay calm in most of the situation i really feel the need for someone giving me company despite having friends around me. I personally think that i’m getting desperate these days but is this a case of being socially fucked up for a long time or am i really missing a close partner or is it cause of my lean patch of social life . I’m totally in turmoil. This thought has really made me think am i ready for being one socially fucked up brat any longer ?